You know that age-old, conceptual conservation piece when you're asked what three historical figures with whom you would most like to have dinner? I remember years ago when David Letterman, in a memorable skit for the '80s NBC version of his late-night show, chose William Shakespeare, Abraham Lincoln and Gene Shalit for his dinner of distinction: a "wretched repast" of Bojangles' chicken.

I was thinking recently that there are so many twists to that basic idea and that even within the realm of '80s music the possibilities are more than abundant. So I thought I'd start with an anti or bizarro list of some kind, and what better than a list of the '80s music artists who would most stick out like a sore thumb in your parents' living room, making small talk and trying to answer your dad's question about what they're gonna do with their lives? By necessity, this must be merely an introductory list, as often questions like this come down so subjectively to a matter of taste. But really, the more I think about it, this one might be pretty definitive. Still, before you say anything, realize that I've omitted Ozzy Osbourne for two reasons: he's too safe and obvious as a choice and he's been highly tamed over the years as a pop culture figure so that we now understand he was always a bit of a softy. No, check out my list for the '80s artists who could really send the folks screaming for the exits.

Following my discovery a couple years back of the wonderful Canadian new wave band the Kings, I've become exponentially convinced that all the greatest bands of the genre must have been cursed by Kajagoogoo or somebody like that and banished forever into a den of unjust musical obscurity. Here's another example of the cruelty and abject stupidity of the music industry, which somehow managed to irritate this Richmond, Va. band with the can't-miss name into exiting the business before its career could even launch. I know I've effected righteous indignation in this slot plenty of times before, but every time I get all soapboxy it feels once again like the first time.

This is a great single by a great band, full of the quirkiness, musical ingenuity and off-kilter charm that was almost always absent from the circa 1983 bands that found an unearned home on MTV by clamping onto the coattails of a musical style that at least initially injected genuine freshness into mainstream rock music. With all due respect to the group, one look at the retro music video for this track makes it absolutely clear that Single Bullet Theory got its record contract because of its live and recorded sound rather than some primped, carefully engineered image. After all, one of the band's guitarists, as seen in that video, looks more like an insurance salesman than Cheap Trick's Bun Carlos, which is really saying something. But so freakin' what? SBT was a worthy band ruthlessly sequestered from droves of music fans who would have loved to have had a chance to hear them.